Uncanny Batman
by The Uncanny R-Man
Summary: Chapter 12: With Batman away, Barbara Gordon decides that it's time that a new Batgirl hit the streets, but who will the new Batgirl be? Part of the Uncanny DC Universe.
1. The Dark Knight Returns

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 1: The Dark Knight Returns**

**By The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer: **_'__I like a girl in a bikini. No concealed weapons.'_- **Scaramanga (The Man with the Golden Gun)**

* * *

**Gotham City-**

Gotham City, also known as the Rotten Apple. You couldn't find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. The city was rife with corruption, crime, and psychotic villains. Fortunately, the city had a protector. Batman, the Dark Knight. Orphaned by a gunman's bullet at a young age, Bruce Wayne swore to protect those who could not protect themselves.

Batman wasn't alone in protecting his city. There was Tim Drake, the second to use the name of Robin. Nightwing, Dick Grayson, the first Robin now grown and creating a crime fighting career of his own. Oracle, the former Batgirl known as Barbara Gordon. She had retired from active participation in crime fighting after a nasty break-up with her then boyfriend Dick Grayson. Ms Gordon now assisted Batman and his allies with her vast system of computers. There was precious little that Oracle didn't know.

Batman crouched atop a gargoyle and surveyed the city that he had sworn to protect. It had been a very quiet night. The evildoers that infested Gotham City seemed to be staying at home.

'_Eeee! _Help me! Somebody, please!'

The sound of a woman's scream brought the Dark Knight out of his reverie as he leapt into action.

Down below, a mugger was trying to steal a woman's handbag.

'You shut your mouth!' The would-be thief hissed as he pressed a knife against the woman's throat. 'Shut your mouth or I'll cut you!'

'Please, no!' The woman sobbed. 'Please don't hurt me…'

The mugger looked around as something blocked out the light of a streetlamp behind him. What he saw made him drop his knife in fear. A giant batlike shape was swooping down on him.

The mugger's sense of self preservation overrode his need for money as he ran away as fast as his feet could carry him.

Batman wasn't about to let his quarry get away that easily. The Dark Knight swooped down onto the mugger, sending him tumbling into the garbage that littered the street.

The mugger tried to reach out for a broken bottle with which to defend himself, but found his arm being pulled back with a vicelike grip.

'Ahh! Sonova…' The mugger hissed through gritted teeth as Batman pulled him up to his feet. 'What is your damage, man? I was only trying to make a buck.'

'Then you should have thought differently before you tried to steal in my city!' Batman growled menacingly as he tightened his grip on the thug's arm.

'Ahh! What're you doing to me, man?' The mugger grimaced as the Dark Knight hung him up on a nearby fire escape.

'I'm going to leave you for the police.' Batman told him. 'I'm sure Commissioner Gordon will be happy to deal with you now.'

* * *

**The Batcave, a little while later-**

Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne's loyal butler, paused from his dusting as the Batmobile came to a stop inside the cavernous cave.

'Ah, Master Bruce. I wasn't expecting you home so soon.' Alfred quipped as Batman climbed out of the car. 'It's most unlike you to be home so early.'

'It's been a slow night, Alfred.' Bruce explained as he removed his cape and cowl and slung them over a railing. 'Is Diana home yet?'

'She has been for some time, sir.' Alfred responded as he picked up the discarded cape and cowl. 'She arrived back from her night out with her associates from the university and headed straight up to bed.'

'And Tim?' Bruce enquired.

'Master Timothy is still in Jump City with the Titans.' Alfred explained. 'He called while you were out. He will be in Jump City for the remainder of the weekend. Shall I make you some refreshment, or will you leave it to go cold as you usually do?'

'That's fine, Alfred.' Bruce told his loyal friend. 'I think I'll head up to bed myself. I want to say goodnight to Cassandra.'

Bruce headed up the steps that led into his mansion, leaving Alfred to his cleaning.

* * *

**Upstairs-**

The door to the bedroom that Bruce shared with Diana slowly opened as he entered the room. Being extra careful not to wake those sleeping within. Diana was asleep in the bed while little baby Cassandra was slumbering peacefully in her crib.

Bruce stopped by the crib to watch his sleeping daughter. Seeing the little girl sleeping there peacefully filled Bruce's heart with pride. A short while ago he would never have believed that he would have a child of his own, let alone one with Wonder Woman of all people.

'Mmm, Bruce…?' Diana yawned from the bed. 'Is that you?'

'Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.' Bruce apologised as he headed over to the bed. 'How was your night?'

'I guess you could call it… eventful.' Diana chuckled slightly. 'They had me up singing karaoke.'

'I wish I could have been there to see that.' Bruce smiled.

'Oh, you wouldn't want to be there.' Diana shook her head. 'I'm sure I was terrible.'

'Diana, it couldn't have been that bad.' Bruce reassured her. 'It couldn't have been any more embarrassing than the time I had to sing for Circe.'

'You think that was embarrassing?' Diana chuckled again. 'You weren't the one that was changed into a pig. Anyway, how was your night?'

'Slow.' Bruce sighed as he sat down on the bed beside Diana. 'It was too quiet. Usually when things are as quiet as this it means that something big is going to happen.'

'You're just being paranoid, Bruce.' Diana told her partner. 'Your enemies are all safe and sound in Arkham Asylum.'

'The Joker's still at large after his encounter with your sister and Titans East.' Bruce responded. 'And there hasn't been any sign of Two-Face after he escaped last week.'

'Well, if your enemies are planning something then you'll do what you always do.' Diana said. 'You'll fight them and you'll win. I have faith in you Bruce, we all do.'

The Amazon Princess smiled and leant in to kiss her lover.

'Now, come into bed. I'm starting to get cold.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: The Animals Go In Two By Two**

_Two-Face does a Noah and kidnaps two of every animal from Gotham Zoo. Guest-starring Catwoman._


	2. The Animals Go In Two By Two: Part 1

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 2: The Animals Go In Two By Two- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_'__Good... bad... I'm the guy with the gun.'_**- Ash (Army of Darkness)**

* * *

**Gotham Zoo-**

It was night time in Gotham City and as usual there was skullduggery afoot. An unmarked grey van had pulled up outside one of the loading bays outside Gotham Zoo.

'Hey, what the hell's going on here?' A curious zookeeper asked as he came up to see what the masked men were up to.

'This ain't got nothin' to do with you, buddy.' One of the masked men growled menacingly. 'Just keep walkin'. We don't want no trouble.'

The keeper the noticed that the masked men were carrying guns.

'I'm gonna call the cops.' The keeper said as he turned around to make a run for it.

'Stop him!' The thug in charge yelled. 'He's gonna blow the whole plan.'

One of the other thugs upholstered his gun and took aim.

_**BLAM!**_

The thug shot the zookeeper in the back of the leg, making him tumble to the ground.

'We told ya we didn't want no trouble.' The lead thug tutted as he walked over to the wounded zookeeper. 'Now we gotta make sure that you don't go and blab everything to the cops, or the Bat.'

'Please… Let me go.' The zookeeper begged. 'I won't tell anybody. I swear.'

'That don't guarantee that you're telling the truth.' The lead thug shook his head as he pointed his gun at the zookeeper's head. 'Don't take this personal, it's just business.'

'Please…' The zookeeper begged. 'Don't kill me. I have a wife and kids…'

'Then ya shouldn't a decided to be a hero.' The lead thug scowled as he tightened his grip on his gun.

'Not so fast, Carl.' A raspy voice ordered from the front seat of the van. 'Let's give the man a fair trial.'

A scarred hand appeared from the driver's side window of the van clutching a silver dollar with a head on each side. One side had scratch marks on the face. There was only one man who used such a gimmick like that. Harvey Dent, better known as Two-Face.

Two-Face tossed the silver dollar and then caught it. The scarred criminal opened his hand to see what would happen to the zookeeper. If the coin landed with the unscarred side facing upwards then the zookeeper would go free, but if the coin landed scarred side up, then the zookeeper would die. The dollar had landed scarred side up.

'Kill him.' Two-Face commanded his lackeys.

'Please, no! I beg you…'

_**BLAM!**_

* * *

**The roof of Gotham PD headquarters, the next night-**

Batman, Robin, and Diana (in her guise as Batwoman) swung up onto the roof of police headquarters. Somebody had activated the Bat-Signal.

'I don't see any sign of Commissioner Gordon.' The Boy Wonder noted as he looked about to try and see how had summoned them.

'I should think not.' A sultry voice purred from the shadows. 'Hello, Batman. Been a long time.'

'The Bat-Signal isn't a toy, Catwoman.' Batman frowned. 'Now stop wasting our time.'

'Aww, I'm hurt.' The Feline Fatale purred, holding her arms out wide. 'Don't I get a hug for old times' sake?'

'You'll get far more than a hug if you don't tell us why you called us here.' Diana retorted.

'Oh _please,_ Princess.' Catwoman rolled her eyes. 'You're not fooling anybody with that new outfit of yours.'

'Why did you call us here, Catwoman?' Batman sighed. The conversation was starting to get tiring. 'Does it have anything to do with the pair of rare Siberian tigers that were taken from Gotham Zoo last night?'

'Way to cut to the chase.' Catwoman sniffed. 'But yes, that is why I called you here. I didn't expect you to bring the entourage.'

'We're a package deal.' Robin quipped. 'You order Batman, you get the rest of us as well.'

'We're already on the trail of the thieves.' Diana explained. 'We don't need your help.'

'I'm _not_ offering.' Catwoman glowered. 'I'm coming along with you whether you like it or not. I sponsored those two tigers for the zoo's rare animal breeding program. There are only a few hundred Siberian tigers left in the wild. Two-Face is going to pay for what he's done!'

'How do you know that Two-Face is even behind it all?' Robin frowned.

'Oh, _please!' _Catwoman snorted in derision. 'This has got his scarred fingerprints all over it. Add the Siberian tigers to the other pairs of animals that he's taken over the past few days and you can bet that he's got something nasty planned.'

'Noah.' Batman nodded in understanding. 'In the Bible it was said that God told Noah to gather a pair of every animal.'

'You don't think that Two-Face has found religion, do you?' Robin thought out loud. Unfortunately, the Boy Wonder never got his answer as Harvey Bullock and Renee Montoya came running out onto the roof.

'What the Hell're you bums doing on the roof?' Bullock demanded to know. 'This ain't no old ladies' tea party, ya know! Get outta here, ya menace!'

'It's always a pleasure to know that we're welcome.' Robin sighed as he joined Batman and the others in swinging away.

* * *

**Elsewhere-**

Two-Face was standing in front of cages of captive animals as one of his lackeys filmed him. He was recording a ransom message.

'You're most probably wondering why I decided to kidnap two of every animal from the zoo.' Two-Face spoke to the camera and whoever was watching. The whole message was being seen by the mayor, the police department, and all the necessary members of the press. 'Well, my dear old friend Harvey Dent used to go to Sunday school. One day his teacher told him all about Noah and his ark. When I was toiling away in my cell in Arkham I remembered the story from years ago about the man with his big boat full of animals. Hey, two of every animal. How could I resist? Now, I don't want to hurt these animals if I have to, but if you don't agree to my demands, then I'll have to do something that will undoubtedly upset all of those dear old animal lovers out there. Long story short, if you want to see all these animals again, send twenty-two million dollars to Gotham Dam, or I'll make my own Great Flood. Show them that I mean business, Carl.'

Carl, the thug in charge of the video camera, turned to show the bomb that was primed to blow up Gotham Dam and flood the city.

'You have until two AM in two days' time.' Two-Face concluded. 'I hope you see it in your hearts to save these dear animals.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: The Animals Go In Two By Two**

_Will Batman and his allies be able to save the captured animals, or will Two-Face go through with his threat of making his own Great Flood? Tune in next time to find out…_


	3. The Animals Go In Two By Two: Part 2

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 3: The Animals Go In Two By Two- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_'__Aaah! You have a woman's purse, my lord!'_**- Captain Redbeard Rum (Blackadder II: Potato)**

* * *

**Gotham Dam-**

Two-Face and his henchmen were waiting patiently for their ransom to arrive. The insane former district attorney had kidnapped two of every animal and had threatened to blow up Gotham Dam unless the powers that be gave him twenty-two million dollars.

'Heh. The city's full of animal lovers.' Two-Face chuckled to himself. 'I can see it already. All those annoying animal rights groups protesting outside city hall. They'd value the life of a mouse more than the life of a fellow man.'

'Yeah, damn hippies.' Carl, one of the villain's minions, laughed.

'Shut up, Carl.' Two-Face snapped at his lackey. 'Nobody makes fun of hippies any more. It's just too damn easy. Peace and love my scarred butt.'

'So what are we gonna do until city hall coughs up the dough, boss?' Lenny, another henchman, asked. 'Are we gonna just sit here? What if Batman shows up? I heard he's got a new sidekick. A hot chick.'

'Then I look forward to meeting her.' Two-Face grinned. 'Perhaps even welcome her to town in my own indomitable way: Two bullets right between the eyes!'

* * *

**Outside-**

Unknown to Two-Face and his henchmen, the Batmobile had just pulled up outside. Catwoman was also there on her motorbike. Normally she would have been sitting in the Batmobile with Batman, but Diana had already taken her place.

'There was once upon a time that _I_ would have been the one sitting in there with you.' The feline fatale sniffed as she dismounted from her ride. 'How quickly things change.'

'If you have a problem, then say it to my face.' Diana, in her new guise as Batwoman, glowered at the former cat burglar.

'Can the act, Princess.' Catwoman glowered back. 'You don't have it in you to be dark and brooding, so don't even try.'

'Man, I wish I had a camera.' Robin snickered to himself. 'This stuff is priceless.'

'Ladies…' Batman sighed, ignoring the Boy Wonder's comments. 'Now isn't the time.'

'Cow.' Catwoman scowled at the Amazon Princess.

'Harpy.' Diana scowled back.

'I know I got a camera in here somewhere...' Robin fumbled through his utility belt, then stopped himself. '...Oh God, I've been hanging around Superboy too long.'

Batman just narrowed his eyes at the pair.

'Save your energy for Two-Face.' The Dark Knight reminded his companions. 'Or have you forgotten why we're here?'

'Ooh, I bet the princess loves it when you're forceful.' Catwoman purred. 'Or perhaps she's the one that gives the orders. I never figured you to be the submissive type, Batman.'

* * *

**Back inside the dam-**

Two-Face and his henchmen were still waiting in the bowels of the dam. They were starting to get tired of waiting, and the animals were starting to get hungry.

'Uh, boss…' Carl piped up. 'I think the animals're hungry. Shouldn't we have brought some food?'

'Another word out of you, Carl, and _you'll_ end up being their next meal!' Two-Face threatened his chatty minion..

'I never got this sort of crap working with the ventriloquist.' Carl muttered under his breath. 'Sure, he was a creepy old man who talked to dolls, but he never mouthed off to his henchmen.'

Lenny walked over to a crate where he had left a deck of cards when he noticed a silhouette shaped like a giant bat appear on the wall.

'Uh-oh.' The henchman gulped nervously. 'Boss, I think we got company…'

**BLAM! BLAM!**

Two-Face and his minions pulled out their guns and opened fire just as Batman and his companions leapt through a skylight.

'I knew it was only a matter of time before you showed up, Batman!' Two-Face yelled at the Dark Knight. 'Good thing I had a back-up plan!'

The disfigured criminal grabbed a crowbar and prised open the cage that held the pair of Siberian tigers.

'You've just arrived in time for dinner!' Two-Face laughed as he moved out of the way of the hungry tigers.

'I'll take care of the tigers.' Diana told the Dark Knight. 'You concentrate on Two-Face and his henchmen.'

'Like I said, I never thought you'd be the one taking the orders.' Catwoman smirked as she cracked her cat o' nine tails at one of Two-Face's henchmen.

'Ahh!' The henchman hissed as he dropped his gun and clutched his hand. 'Bad kitty!'

'Yeah, being bad is so much fun.' Catwoman grinned as she spun around and kicked the henchman in the face.

_**CRACK!**_

'I never figured your boss to be the religious type.' Robin quipped as he somersaulted over another henchman. 'What's up with the Noah Complex?'

'Don't ask me, kid.' Carl shrugged. 'I'm just in it for the money.'

'Pity you won't receive your next pay check.' The Boy Wonder grinned as he socked the henchman on the chin. 'Cuz you'll be in jail!'

_**POW!**_

While Robin and Catwoman were dealing with the henchmen, Diana was trying to deal with the angry tigers.

'Please, my friends…' Diana tried to calm the ravenous felines. 'We do not wish to hurt you. I understand that you are angry and confused after being taken from your home, but you must be patient. Everything will be over soon. If you return to your cages, then my friends and I can deal with the villains in peace.'

Much to the amazement to those gathered the tigers turned around and slunk back into their cage.

'How did you do that?' Robin blinked in amazement.

'Animals just seem to understand me.' Diana said as she secured the tiger's cage.

'Well, that's all well an good, but Two-Face is getting away.' Catwoman reminded everybody. 'Oh, and he's triggered the bomb!'

'Batman is dealing with Two-Face.' Diana told the feline fatale. 'We shall have to deal with the bomb.'

'I don't suppose that anybody knows how to diffuse this thing?' Robin asked nervously. 'I left my bomb disposal book in my other pants.'

* * *

**Outside-**

Two-Face had hightailed it outside with Batman in high pursuit.

'Give up now, Harvey!' The Dark Knight told his foe. 'You've already lost!'

'Oh, I don't think so, Batman!' Two-Face laughed. 'That bomb is primed to explode in two minutes. Are you sure you made the right choice, leaving your woman and the boy down there when you came after me?'

'Never underestimate my friends.' Batman glared at the villain.

'Heads up!' Robin called from inside the dam as the bomb came flying up through the skylight that Batman and the others had broken in order to gain access to the dam.

_**KABOOM!!**_

Two-Face shielded his eyes as the bomb exploded harmlessly high above everybody's heads.

_**POW!**_

Batman took the villain's momentary distraction to take him down with a swift punch to the jaw.

'One punch!' Robin quipped as he, Diana, and Catwoman joined the Dark Knight on top of the dam.

'The henchmen?' Batman enquired.

'Tied up all snug down below.' Catwoman answered. 'No need to thank me or anything.'

'Thank you, Catwoman.' Batman nodded. 'Your help has been invaluable.'

'Wait a minute…' Catwoman frowned in suspicion. 'Who are you, and what have you done with the real Batman? You never used to thank me.' The feline Fatale then turned to look at Diana. 'I like what you're doing with him, Princess. Keep up the good work and you'll soon teach him some real manners.'

Catwoman hopped back onto her motorbike as the sound of police sirens came from the distance.

'Well, I guess that's my signal to leave.' The Feline Fatale sighed. 'I gather you'll make sure that the tigers get home safe?'

'You have my word.' Diana reassured her.

'Thanks, Princess.' Catwoman smiled. 'I had fun, let's do it again soon.'

And with that Catwoman drove away before the police arrived.

'Well, that wasn't too awkward.' Robin remarked. 'Why don't you introduce Diana to another one of your exes again soon? Then again, which one do you chose? There's been so many.'

'How is Spoiler nowadays?' Batman responded.

'Wow. That almost seems like a joke.' Robin continued. 'It's that sort of thing that scares me most. It's not the dark and brooding stuff, oh no. You're scary when you're funny, Bruce.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Dark Vengeance**

_Somebody is impersonating Batgirl and apprehending bad guys in Gotham. With Batman out of town, it's up to Barbara Gordon, the _real _Batgirl, to find out the identity of the impostor. _


	4. Dark Vengeance: Part 1

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 4: Dark Vengeance- Part 1**

**By **

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_'__There's only two things I can't stand in this world. Those who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.'_**- Nigel Powers (Austin Powers in Goldmember)**

* * *

**Gotham City-**

Most people knew better than to walk the rougher streets of Gotham City at night, but some people preferred to go against the popular opinion. Those people were either blissfully ignorant of Gotham City's reputation or they relished the thrill of walking the dangerous streets at night. If those people who were foolish enough to walk the streets at night were set upon, which they most often were, the chances were that they would be saved by Batman or one of Gotham's other protectors. Unfortunately, the Dark Knight was out of town, as two such people were about to find out.

'C'mon baby, let's go back and get a cab.' A tanned brunette woman in a low-cut black dress begged her lover. 'I don't like it here. I'm scared, let's go back.'

'Relax, sweetness.' The lady's male companion, a handsome blond guy in a neat black suit, told his lady. 'There's nothing to be scared of. The Batman'll save us anyway.'

'But what if he doesn't?' The lady gulped nervously. 'You do know that this place is called Crime Alley, right? I don't think that's for the tourists…'

'Tourists are fun. They've always got such nice things.'

The pair of young lovers stopped in their tracks as a trio of thugs stepped out of the shadows.

'Please, don't hurt us.' The guy in the tuxedo pleaded with the would-be muggers as he reached into his pocket. 'Here, take my wallet. Just leave us alone, okay?'

'How about those pretty pearls your woman's got?' One of the thugs said as he motioned at the woman with his gun. 'Or better yet, how about we have our fun with her?'

'Oh, thank god…' The woman sighed in relief.

'What the hell are you talking about?' The third mugger growled. 'You gotta be trippin'!'

'Uh, dude… Look.' The first thug told his companion, pointing up towards the roof of a nearby building where a shadowy figure stood, their cape fluttering slightly in the night breeze.

'Aww, crap.' The second thug gulped.

The trio of muggers barely had time to run away before the mysterious caped figure swooped down upon them. Now that the figure was out of the shadows, the two lovers could see that it was a red-haired young woman wearing a homemade cowl and a knock off Batman t-shirt.

The young woman landed on one of the thugs, flattening him to the ground. Another thug charged at the girl, pulling a knife out of his pocket. The young woman leapt off the thug she had knocked to the ground and swept the knife-wielding thug's legs from under him. The third thug took aim with his gun at the young vigilante. The young woman grabbed the lid off a garbage can and threw it like a Frisbee, hitting the thug upside the head.

Once the two lovers were sure that the thugs were down they approached their would-be saviour.

'Thank you. You saved our lives.' The woman in the black dress said. 'But… who are you?'

'What are you, simple?' The young woman in the makeshift costume grinned mischievously. 'I'm the gosh darned Batgirl!'

* * *

**Gotham Clock Tower, the next morning-**

'Well, that's the third time it's happened this week.' Barbara Gordon sighed as she threw a newspaper down in front of her two companions. 'It's got to stop!'

Black Canary looked up from the box of leftover Chinese takeout she was poking at and regarded the bespectacled redhead with amusement.

'Sounds like somebody's jealous, right Kara?' The blonde heroine grinned at her younger blonde companion.

'I don't see what's so bad about all this anyway.' Supergirl shrugged. 'Shouldn't you be happy that people are taking it upon themselves to fight crime?'

'Not when they're using my name in vain, they're not!' Barbara glowered. 'Witnesses claim that the mysterious new vigilante called herself Batgirl. The last time I checked I was Batgirl.'

'The operative word being _was_, sweetie.' Canary pointed out. 'You're not Batgirl any more, remember? You gave it up after you had that fight with Nightwing, which you still haven't given us all the details about, by the way.'

'Okay, let's forget about the fact that she's using my old alias…' Barbara told her friends. 'Fighting crime isn't easy as it seems. This girl could get herself seriously hurt, or worse.'

'What if this is Batman's new sidekick?' Supergirl enquired.

'I think he would have told me if he chose somebody else to take on the Batgirl name.' Barbara pointed out. 'Besides, eyewitnesses report that this new Batgirl looked like she made her outfit herself, nothing like all the hi-tech stuff Batman has his associates wear.'

'So, what do you want us to do about it?' Black Canary asked. 'Do you want us to track this girl down and give her a good telling off?'

'She is using your old alias, by the way.' Supergirl pointed out. 'Shouldn't you come along with us?'

'You know as well as I do that Babs has got a hot date tonight.' Canary grinned. 'Even if it is red-hot cyber sex on the computer.'

'It is _not_ red-hot cyber sex!' Barbara blushed. 'We just talk!'

'Sure you do, honey.' Black Canary snickered. 'We'll just leave you alone with Blue Boy, okay?'

Barbara just glowered at her two friends as they headed off into the night.

* * *

**Crime Alley, a little while later-**

'Gimme the purse, skank. Gimmie the purse, skank…'

'_Pfft…_'

'Oh yeah, that's it. Laugh it up, Pretty Bird.' An incognito Green Arrow grumbled at a disguised Black Canary. Black Canary had enlisted the Emerald Archer's assistance in creating a ruse to bring out the mysterious new Batgirl.

'I'm sorry, Ollie…' Black Canary chuckled behind her hand. 'It's just that you make a terrible bad guy.'

'You called me in at the last minute.' Green Arrow sighed. 'Did you expect me to come equipped with a full script and stage directions?'

'Okay, I'll stop laughing now.' Black Canary composed herself. 'We don't want to blow our cover. Let's go through this one more time, okay?'

Green Arrow sighed heavily and aimed his toy gun at Black Canary. Batman would never let him live this down if he found out.

'Give me the purse, ska…'

'Step away from the hottie, buddy. Or be prepared for a wicked beatin'!'

Green Arrow looked up to see a dark and shadowy figure standing on the roof above him.

'I'm not gonna ask you again, dude.' The mysterious vigilante told the disguised hero. 'Step away from the lady!'

Green Arrow didn't move an inch. He stood there aiming his gun at Black Canary.

'Well, don't say that I didn't warn you.' The imposter Batgirl shrugged. '_Darrrrrk_ _vengeannnnce!!_'

Green Arrow closed his eyes in dread as the bat-shaped figure swooped down on him.

'Oh, this is going to suck…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Dark Vengeance- Part 2**

_Who is this new Batgirl? Tune in next time to find out…_


	5. Dark Vengeance: Part 2

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 5: Dark Vengeance- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC Comics._

_

* * *

_

'_When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not, hmm?'_**- Yoda (The Empire Strikes Back)**

* * *

**Gotham City-**

'_**Darrrrrk vengeance!'**_

Green Arrow barely had enough time to get his arms up to protect himself before the imposter Batgirl was on top of him, pummelling him with her fists.

_**POW! BIFF! CRUNCH!**_

'Hey hey HEY! OW!' Ollie screamed. 'What the hell?! What is _wrong_ with you, kid?!'

'Take that, evildoer!_' _The imposter grinned as she head butted the incognito archer. 'And that! And that!'

'Little help…?' Green Arrow grimaced as he tried desperately to shake the young woman who was presently kicking his butt.

Luckily, Black Canary had her partner's back.

'I think that's enough now, honey.' The blonde heroine said as she attempted to grab hold of the would be vigilante.

'Ahh! Betrayal!' The young redhead hissed as she ducked down and threw Black Canary over her shoulder.

'She's a slippery rascal all right…' Black Canary frowned as she picked herself up off the ground. 'Hey, where'd she go?'

'Up _heeere…_' The redheaded imposter grinned as she slid down a nearby fire escape.

'Aww, crap.' Black Canary grimaced as she braced herself for impact.

'How can such a little kid be this much trouble to take care of?' Green Arrow grumbled as he dusted himself off. 'What is she, thirteen?'

'I'm gonna be seventeen next month, so there.' The fake Batgirl retorted as she ducked out of the of Black Canary's kick and swept the blonde's legs from under her.

'Some help wouldn't go amiss over here, Kara.' Black Canary muttered under her breath.

'Supergirl's on her way.' Barbara Gordon announced over the communicator earpiece in Black Canary's ear.

'Nice of her to join us.' Black Canary muttered under her breath.

'Who're you talking to?' The Batgirl imposter enquired. 'Ooh! Is it Babs?'

'How did you know her name?' Black Canary blinked in surprise.

'Well, duh!' The imposter snorted. 'I'm the gosh darn Batgirl. It's my job to know this stuff. Don't feel too bad about me kicking your butts, I always wanted to meet you guys. I'm a big fan.'

'You mean to say I got my butt kicked by a little kid for nothing?' Green Arrow grumbled. 'Batman's never gonna let me live this down.'

'Uh-oh.' The imposter mumbled to herself. 'Batgirl-Sense: Tingling!'

Supergirl swooped down from the sky just as the imposter disappeared into thin air. The Maid of Might crashed through a nearby wall.

'Did I get her?' Supergirl blinked she peeked out of the hole in the wall she had created.

'I don't know, Kara.' Black Canary shook her head. 'The kid just disappeared again. She's got an annoying habit of doing that.'

Supergirl pressed her finger to her ear so she could talk to Oracle.

'Babs, can you see any sign of the imposter?' Supergirl asked. 'Babs? Are you there…?'

'Aww, crap.' Black Canary groaned. 'What's going on now? First we get our butts kicked by a kid. Then she ups and disappears on us. Now we can't even get in contact with Oracle to talk to her.'

* * *

**Gotham Clock Tower-**

'Dinah! Dinah! Come in, Dinah!' Barbara Gordon yelled into the communicator. 'What's going on over there? Can you hear me? Dinah!'

'Wow. Sweet digs you've got here, B!'

Barbara spun around in her chair at the sound of the stranger's voice.

'Gee, this stuff must have cost a pretty penny.'

'Show yourself, whoever you are.' Barbara demanded. 'You're trespassing on private property.'

'Aww, don't be so mean. Can't we just be friends? Wouldn't it be awesome if we teamed up and worked together?'

'Come down here and we can talk all about it.' Barbara told the stranger as she reached for a hidden Batarang under her desk.

'Yay! We're going to be the bestest friends ever!' The stranger squealed as she appeared behind Barbara and grabbed her in a big hug.

Barbara grabbed the stranger by the arm and threw her over her shoulder.

'Owie!' The imposter Batgirl pouted. 'That's not fair! I thought we were gonna be bestest friends.'

'You have no right to dress up like that!' Barbara snapped at the imposter.

'It's not like you own the name.' The imposter sulked.

'Even so, doing what you're doing is dangerous.' Barbara pointed out. 'You could have gotten yourself killed.'

'But I haven't.' The imposter pointed out. 'I'm not some rookie. I've got mad skills, yo.'

Barbara pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a long sigh.

'Don't your parents know that you're doing this?' Barbara asked.

'My mom's… dead.' The imposter confessed. 'And I never really knew my dad. He ran off when I was little.'

'Don't you have any relatives?' Barbara enquired.

'I've got an aunt in Central City, but I haven't seen her in years.' The imposter explained. 'I was hoping I could stay with you. I loved Batgirl! Why'd you give it up anyway?'

Barbara sighed heavily once more. As annoying as the kid was, she could certainly handle herself. The kicking she gave Black Canary and Green Arrow were evidence of that. She was more than just an over-exuberant fangirl.

'Look at it this way…' The young redhead said. 'You need more members of your team, right? Why don't I join? Everybody needs a young assistant, right? I could be your Robin.'

Barbara knew that she couldn't win the argument.

'Okay, let's make a deal…' The elder redhead said. 'Stop calling yourself Batgirl and I _might_ decide to train you.'

'Awesome!' The young girl grinned as she hugged Barbara tight. 'You're not gonna regret this, B!'

'What's your name, kid?' Barbara asked.

'Charlotte Gage-Radcliffe.' The young girl introduced herself. 'Most people call me Charlie.'

'Okay, how do you know all about me, Charlie?' Barbara enquired. 'I go to great lengths to keep myself a secret.'

'Well, I kinda, sorta, snuck in here while you were out and hacked into your computer.' Charlie admitted sheepishly. 'I teleported in here by accident once when you were out, and I got curious.'

As angry as Barbara was about having a stranger hack into her private files, she had to admit that she was pretty good. The computer systems in the clock tower were nigh-on impossible to hack into. Charlie must have been pretty damn good with computers to hack into her system.

'Who's Blue Boy, anyway? Charlie asked. 'Is he your boyfriend or something?'

* * *

**Meanwhile-**

'Ahh! Stupid machine!' Ted Kord yelled out loud as he gave his computer screen a smack. 'I ought to throw you right in the trash!'

'Hey Ted, what'cha doin'?' Booster Gold enquired as he peeked around the doorway. 'Somebody interrupt your red-hot session of cyber-sex with your new girlfriend?'

'She is _not_ my girlfriend!' Ted groaned. 'And we _don't_ have cyber-sex!'

'It sure is nice that you're getting out there after things cooled down with you and Karen, but are you sure that this chick is who she says she is? She could be an axe-murdering maniac or something.'

'Just get out of here, Booster.' Ted sighed as he turned back to his computer. He steepled his fingers and frowned at the screen. 'Who are you, Oracle?'

**TBC…**

**

* * *

**

**Next: Starfire Comes To Tea**

_A newly married Dick Grayson brings Starfire and little baby M'ari to have dinner at Wayne Manor._


	6. Starfire Comes To Tea

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 6: Starfire Comes to Tea**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC Comics._

_

* * *

_

'_He's not human. He's like a piece of iron.'_**- Ivan Drago (Rocky IV) **

* * *

**Wayne Manor-**

The sound of somebody knocking on the door summoned Alfred Pennyworth to the front door of the stately Wayne Manor. Bruce Wayne's loyal butler muttered under his breath as he reached to open the door. Whoever was calling had disturbed him right in the middle of preparing dinner.

Upon opening the door Alfred smiled happily at the person standing on the other side of the doorway.

'Master Richard!' Alfred exclaimed in surprise. 'Is it that time already? I was just beginning to start preparing dinner.'

'Then it looks like we've arrived just in time.' Dick Grayson grinned as he gave the loyal butler a great big hug.

'Is Miss Koriand'r not with you?' Alfred enquired. 'Is she ill?'

'Oh, no.' Dick shook his head. 'She's just waiting in the car with M'ari. She wanted me to knock first. You know, catch up with things. I'll just go and get her.'

Alfred watched as the former Boy Wonder headed back down to the steps to where a golden-skinned young woman was bustling around near a rather lovely-looking car.

'Kori, leave that for now.' Dick told his wife. 'Alfred wants to say hi.'

'I will just release M'ari's chair from the car and I will join you.' Kori nodded.

'Here, let me take care of that…' Dick said as he took over from his wife. 'You go and say hi to Alfred and I'll bring M'ari up, okay?'

Kori nodded in understanding and headed up the steps to the front door.

'Miss Koriand'r, I presume.' Alfred held his hand out for Kori to shake. Instead the young Tameranian grabbed him in a hug that practically forced all of the breath out of the poor butler's lungs.

'It is most joyous to meet you!' The redheaded alien grinned as she squeezed Alfred tight. 'Dick has told me so much about you!'

'The pleasure is all mine, I'm sure…' Alfred wheezed. Thankfully, Dick wasn't too far off from bring little baby M'ari up the steps.

'Kori, remember to let him breathe.' The former Boy Wonder reminded his wife. 'Not everybody is used to the traditional Tameranian greeting of joy.'

'Oh, I do apologise…' Kori blushed as she let Alfred go. 'I hope that I do not harm you.'

'Nothing that a little sit down can't remedy.' Alfred smiled slightly as he rubbed his side.

'Ah, and this must be M'ari.' Alfred said as he noticed the golden-skinned baby in the mobile cot. M'ari had the same colour skin as her mother, only a little lighter due to being part human as well. The young girl gurgled happily at Alfred.

'She is quite a beautiful young lady.' Alfred complimented her.

'Oh, yes.' Starfire nodded happily. 'I think she will receive quite a lot of attention from the boys when she is older.'

'She'd better not.' Dick sniffed. 'No boys for M'ari until she's eighteen.'

'Oh Dick, shush.' Starfire tutted as she swatted at her husband. 'How old were we when we first met anyway?'

'That's not the point…' Dick grumbled under his breath.

'If you'd like to come inside, Master Bruce and Miss Diana will be with you in a moment.' Alfred told the pair. 'Then I can take up your luggage to your room without disturbing you.'

'Oh no, Alfred.' Dick shook his head. 'I'll take care of it later. You just get back to what you were doing before we disturbed you, okay?'

'Oh! I have almost forgotten!' Kori realised as she picked up a wicker basket and handed it to Alfred. 'I hope you do not mind but, I baked a pie for dessert. I made it with fresh Glorka Berries.'

Alfred lifted the lid of the basket and peered inside.

'Pray excuse my ignorance, but should the pie be bright blue?' The butler enquired.

'Oh, yes.' Kori nodded. 'Being blue is quite normal for a Glorka pie. It is the national dish of my people.'

'In that case I shall place it in the refrigerator straight away.' Alfred nodded. 'Assuming that it doesn't gain sentience and try to eat us all.

* * *

**Inside-**

Bruce Wayne and Diana were sitting in the living room when Dick and Kori walked in through the door.

'Wow, this place hasn't changed one bit.' The former Boy Wonder noted as he looked around. 'Haven't you ever thought about decorating the place, Bruce?'

'Dick!' Bruce smiled as he got to his feet and shook the hand of his former protégé. 'Alfred didn't tell me that you were here.'

'I thought that we'd surprise you.' Dick smiled.

'It's a pleasure to meet you again, Koriand'r.' Diana smiled warmly as she hugged the Tameranian. 'And my goodness, hasn't M'ari grown?'

'Oh, yes.' Kori nodded. 'Baby Tameranians do grow quite quickly. She has quite an appetite, too. I spend most of my time feeding her nowadays.'

'It's a pity that Cassandra isn't awake to see her cousin.' Diana said. 'I'm sure that she would have loved to say hello. I can see that she and M'ari are going to become great friends.'

'Just as long as they don't develop the same taste for boys.' Dick added his two cents.

'Dick, Cassandra is barely a few months old.' Diana stated. 'I doubt that she will even know what boys are.'

'You will have to excuse my husband.' Kori apologised. 'You has already become quite protective of our daughter.'

'I suppose his heart is in the right place.' Diana nodded. 'M'ari is his only daughter after all. Bruce is the same way with Cassandra.'

Dick leant over to Bruce and whispered to him.

'Isn't always so much fun when they talk like we're not here?'

'If everybody will come in to the dining room, then dinner will soon be served.' Alfred announced.

'Mmm, great news.' Dick grinned as he followed everybody into the dining room. 'I'm starving.'

* * *

**Later-**

Alfred had served up dinner. It was a joint of roast beef with all the trimmings. Potatoes, peas, parsnips, you name it.

'Could I interest you in some wine, Miss Koriand'r?' Alfred offered. 'Red or white?'

'I am quite fine for wine, thank you Alfred.' Kori smiled. 'Do you have any mustard?'

'Mustard?' Alfred blinked in confusion.

'Yes, mustard.' Kori nodded. 'It is a most delicious beverage, do you not think so?'

'I must admit that I am not particularly familiar with having mustard as a beverage.' Alfred admitted. 'But you are a guest. It is my duty to see to your demands.'

'Oh dear.' Kori sighed as Alfred headed off to see if there was any mustard in the pantry. 'I have upset Alfred.'

'Alfred's fine.' Bruce reassured her. 'He just isn't used to catering for a Tameranian diet.'

'Mmm, I've missed this.' Dick said as he tucked into his dinner. 'As hard as I keep trying, I can't seem to manage to cook as good a roast as Alfred. How does he do it?'

'Perhaps excellent cooking is Alfred's special power.' Diana suggested.

'Either that or being able to cope with Master Bruce's choice of nocturnal exploits.' Alfred quipped as he walked back in with Kori's mustard.

'It's nice to eat dinner without everybody squabbling as well.' Dick said. 'The Titans are like a family, but they can be a bit much sometimes.'

'Oh, yes.' Kori nodded in agreement. 'Cyborg and Beast Boy are always arguing over which topping to order for their pizza. Superboy and Impulse are also arguing over who drinks all the milk as well.'

'All families argue, Koriand'r.' Diana reassured her. 'Donna and I used to argue all the time back home in Themyscira.'

'Have you heard any news from Hippolyta?' Dick asked. 'It must have been hard for her when Circe almost burned Themyscira to the ground.' **(1)**

'Circe's failed invasion was hard on all of the Amazons, Dick.' Diana explained. 'My mother is determined to help rebuild Themyscira.'

'Have you thought about Cassandra's education?' Kori asked. 'I know that she is still very young, but will she be trained by the Amazons, or will she attend high school?'

'I think a little of both.' Bruce responded. 'It would be insulting to the Amazons if we didn't let Cassandra learn about her heritage.'

'I can see her becoming quite the fierce warrior.' Kori said. 'It is only natural when her parents are Batman and Wonder Woman.'

'The same could be said of M'ari.' Diana nodded in agreement. 'Tameranians are some of the most fearsome warriors in the galaxy, aren't they.'

'The Thanagarians might have something to say about that.' Kori chuckled.

'That's something that I found quite confusing.' Diana said. 'You become quite close to Shayera Hol during your short stint with the Justice League, didn't you?'

'Oh, indeed.' Kori nodded. 'Shayera was one of my bridesmaids.'

'Tameranians and Thanagarians have a long history of fighting each other.' Diana remembered. 'It just struck me as unusual that you and Shayera are so close.'

'Shayera's an exile.' Kori responded. 'She doesn't believe in making war as much as the rest of her people do. I am glad to call her my friend.'

'If you have all finished the main course, I would now like to bring in dessert.' Alfred announced as he walked in with Kori's Glorka pie. 'I believe that Miss Koriand'r baked it herself.'

'It's… blue.' Bruce blinked.

'Yes, that would be the fresh Glorka Berries.' Kori nodded. 'Blueberries are similar, but the pie does not taste the same with Glorka Berries.'

'I'm sure that it tastes delicious.' Diana smiled. 'I would very much like to try some.'

'Most joyous!' Kori grinned as she dished up the dessert. 'Would anybody else like some?'

'It would be rude to say no.' Dick smiled. The former Boy Wonder had tasted Kori's Glorka pie before and it was… an acquired taste.

'Mmm, this is delicious.' Diana complimented as she wiped her mouth. 'But there is another taste there that I can't quite place.'

'That would be the mustard.' Kori smiled triumphantly. 'I find that it gives the pie an extra kick.'

Bruce and Dick both looked up at Diana, half-expecting her to spit out the pie.

'Mmm, it's delicious.' Diana smiled as she handed Kori her empty plate. 'I hope you won't think of me as greedy if I have more.'

**TBC…**

**

* * *

**

**Next: Audrey**

_When several people are attacked in Robinsons Park by a plant-like creature suspicion falls on Poison Ivy, but she's one of the good guys now… isn't she?_

_

* * *

_

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_Circe attacked Themyscira with an army of supervillains and mythological beasts in '_Uncanny Wonder Woman'_._


	7. Audrey: Part 1

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 7: Audrey- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC Comics._

_

* * *

_

**Robinson Park-**

Gotham City looked beautiful in the winter. The sight of the crisp white snow on the ground was quite breathtaking. It could almost make you forget about Gotham's reputation for colourful lawbreakers and giant flying rodents. No places in Gotham were more beautiful in the winter than Robinson Park. People flocked from all around the city to watch brass bands playing on the bandstand or to skate on the specially erected ice rink.

Unfortunately, several people had reportedly been attacked by a strange plant-like creature in the park. Nobody dared to venture through the park. The only ones in the park after dark were the homeless looking for somewhere to shelter from the cold, or those that were too foolish to know better.

Two such people were walking through the park hand-in-hand. It was the same pair that the imposter Batgirl had saved from muggers a short while ago. **(1)**

'We really shouldn't be here.' Maria, the tanned brunette woman, said as she looked about nervously as if she expected something to pounce out of the undergrowth and attack her at any moment. 'The police cordoned off the place for a reason, you know.'

'There's nothing to be worried about, honey.' Robbie, the handsome blond man, grinned as he led his girlfriend across the path. 'If anything happens to us Batman or somebody will save us.'

'That attitude of yours is going to get us killed one of these days.' Maria shook her head. 'Come on, you've had your fun. Let's go home already.'

'Oh come on, just a few more minutes.' Robbie responded. 'Don't you wanna see our special tree?'

'I don't care about that dumb old tree.' Maria frowned. 'So what if you carved your name into a tree? You're lucky that Poison Ivy didn't string you up.'

'Ooh, like I'm scared of some psycho tree-hugger!' Robbie laughed. 'What's she gonna do, throw a bag of seeds at me?'

_**THWIP!**_

Robbie's laughter was cut short as what seemed to be a spine from a cactus embedded itself in his neck. Robbie let out a strangled gasp and clutched his throat.

'Oh God Robbie!' Maria sobbed as she grabbed her boyfriend as he began to fall to the ground. 'Talk to me, baby. Please!'

It was too late for Robbie. The spine's toxins were already beginning to do their work. That much was evident as large green pustules began to erupt over Robbie's skin.

'Oh God Robbie, no…' Maria sobbed as she cradled her dying boyfriend's head. 'Please, no…'

Maria sobbed into her boyfriend's chest and as such didn't notice a figure leap down from the trees behind her.

'_Hsssss…_'

Maria spun around at the sound and gasped as she saw a figure sanding in the shadows.

'What… what do you want?' Maria sniffled. 'Please, don't hurt me…'

'_Hsssss…_' The creature hissed again as it started to approach the distraught Maria before suddenly stopping in its tracks. The mysterious creature turned around and darted back into the undergrowth just as two policemen came running up the path.

'What was that thing?' One of the officers blinked.

'I don't know.' The second officer shook his head. 'But it sure looked like it. We'd better call it in, get the Commissioner down here. He'll want to see this.'

* * *

**Later-**

Commissioner Gordon arrived on the scene with detectives Harvey Bullock and Renee Montoya. Montoya was comforting the distraught Maria while Gordon and Bullock were examining Robbie's corpse.

'I ain't no scientist, but this sure looks like it's got Poison Ivy's green fingers all over it.' Bullock grunted. 'So much for being reformed, eh Commish?'

'I'm not so sure about that, Bullock.' Gordon frowned in thought as he examined the spine in the body's neck. 'This doesn't seem like Ivy's usual M.O.'

'Of course it is, Commish.' Bullock continued. 'There's a plant-thing running around attacking people. This is classic Ivy.'

'The Commissioner's right.' A certain Dark Knight, who had up until now stayed hidden, announced from the shadows. 'This doesn't sound like Poison Ivy at all.'

'Gah!' Bullock yelped in surprise. 'Jeez, somebody should put a bell on you, or somethin'.'

'Any thoughts, Batman?' Gordon asked as he looked to the World's Greatest Detective for answers.

'I'd prefer to run some tests before I make any concrete decisions.' Batman said as he leant down to take a sample from the spine embedded in the late Robbie's neck. 'If I may…?'

'It hasn't ever stopped you before.' Gordon shrugged. 'How long do you think it'll take you to find out if Poison Ivy really is the one behind this?'

There was no answer from Batman as he had disappeared as silently as he had first appeared. Gordon let out a long sigh.

'I really should be used to him doing that.'

* * *

**The Batcave, later-**

Batman was busy running tests on the sample he had taken from the dead body in the park. He was comparing them to samples of various plants and toxins that Poison Ivy had used in the past.

'Hey Bruce, what'cha doing?' Tim Drake, the present Boy Wonder, asked as he walked down the stairs leading to Wayne Manor. 'Something interesting?'

'I'm running tests on a sample I took from a dead body found in Robinson Park.' Bruce explained. 'This was the first fatality. Up until now whoever was behind the attacks hadn't killed anyone.'

'Do you think Ivy's the one behind it?' Tim enquired. 'This kind of looks like something she'd do.'

'I don't know just yet.' Bruce shook his head. 'I'd like to think that Ivy isn't behind all these attacks. I just want to make sure before I do anything.

'I thought Superman was supposed to be the optimist.' Tim quipped.

'When Diana told me that her sister had encountered Ivy in Steel City, her claims of having gone straight seemed legitimate.' Bruce explained. **(2)**

'If Ivy is the one behind this, then where's Harley Quinn?' Tim asked. 'Wherever Ivy goes, Harley isn't far behind.'

'That is also what I find confusing.' Bruce nodded. The millionaire leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers. 'Why would Ivy be working solo when she and Harley are together?'

'Heh. I thought they were just rumours.' Tim smirked. 'Sure took them long enough, though. I've heard several Justice Leaguers had bet on it. Booster Gold owes a lot of money.'

The Bat-Computer beeped, signalling that it had finished comparing the samples.

'The samples I took from the dead body in the park matches a plant that Ivy has used in the past.' Bruce explained. 'But there's something else… the sample had traces of Ivy's DNA as well.'

'What, like a fingerprint?' Tim asked.

'No, more like Ivy's DNA was part of the sample.' Bruce clarified. 'Like it came from her body.'

'Ivy's never been able to shoot spines out of her body before.' Tim remembered. 'So she can't be the one behind these attacks. But where did her DNA come from?'

'We'll have to ask her ourselves.' Bruce said as he got up from his seat and headed towards the Batmobile. 'Come on, let's get to work.'

**TBC…**

**

* * *

**

**Next: Audrey- Part 2**

_Batman and Robin pay Poison Ivy a visit. Hopefully she will be able to shed some light on the whole mysterious situation. That's if her teammates in the Suicide Squad don't mind a call from the Dark Knight and the Boy Wonder, of course._

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**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_The imposter Batgirl rescued Robbie and Maria from muggers in Chapter 5._

**(2)- **_Donna Troy and Titans East teamed up with Ivy and the Suicide Squad to take on the Joker in '_Uncanny Titans East'_._


	8. Audrey: Part 2

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 8: Audrey- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC Comics._

* * *

**Somewhere in the outskirts of Gotham City-**

A black van pulled up outside spooky-looking mansion somewhere in the outskirts of Gotham. The doors on the side of the van slid open and its occupants stepped outside. They were the Secret Six, a group of former villains that did the jobs that the likes of the Justice League didn't dare to.

Much had changed for the group since they teamed up with Titans East to take on the Joker, not least the change to the name of the team. Captain Boomerang had retired from the business to spend time with the Golden Glider, his estranged wife. Cheshire had shown her true colours during a botched mission to a Central American hellhole known as Santa Prisca. She had betrayed the team and fled with the child she had bore with Deadshot. Unfortunately, Parademon perished during the botched mission, which left the team short several members. The team used to be known as the Suicide Squad, but since they had been reduced to only six members it was decided that a change of name was in order.

'Well, that mission could have gone better.' The redheaded former villainess known as Poison Ivy sighed heavily. 'Was it _really_ necessary to execute each and every member of that Kobra cult?'

'Hey, it was kill or be killed in there.' The expert marksman known as Deadshot shrugged nonchalantly as he rolled up the front of his mask and slid a cigarette into his mouth. 'I didn't see you complaining when you killed that guy with your crossbow.'

'That was different.' Ivy retorted. 'I killed him in self-defence.'

'Sure you did.' Deadshot smirked as he lit his cigarette. 'I don't know about you guys, but I need a beer.'

'Oh Lawton, cigarettes and beer.' The gangly nutcase known as Ragdoll chuckled. 'How deliciously gauche.'

'So says the guy that talks to the stuffed torso of a dead friend.' Deadshot sighed. 'When are you going to get rid of that thing? It's stinking the place up.'

'If you wanted that thing stuffed so bad, you should have at least called a professional.' The mysterious Scandal, the team's leader, grunted.

'The times when I talk to the dear departed Parademon are the only times when I have intelligent conversation.' Ragdoll sniffed snobbishly.

'You're lucky that I don't shoot you right here.' Deadshot snapped.

'Oh, goody!' Ragdoll clapped his hands excitedly. 'Lawton, you are so naughty!'

'You are one sick freak, Ragdoll.' Deadshot grimaced as he opened the door to the mansion an stepped inside. 'If I did shoot you, I'd only be doing you a favour.'

'Oh, come on. Please?' Ragdoll begged as he followed Deadshot inside. 'Go on, shoot me. It could be a new game!'

'Remind me again why we allow that horrible little troll to be part of the team?' The former female Fury known as Knockout sighed heavily.

'I sometimes wonder the same thing myself.' Scandal her head as she followed the rest of the group inside the mansion.

'Geez, I need a nice long bath.' Harley Quinn groaned as she stretched her back. 'You wanna come with, Red?'

'I'm fine thank you, Harley.' Ivy smiled. 'I'm going go check on my plants.'

Harley simply nodded in understanding and skipped up the stairs as Ivy headed to her greenhouse to check up on her precious plants.

* * *

**Ivy's Greenhouse-**

Ivy pressed her palm against the sensor on the door and entered into her greenhouse. Ivy knew that something wasn't right as soon as she stepped inside. She could feel a cold draft. Upon closer investigation she found a large hole in one of the glass walls and something had emerged from the giant pods she was growing.

Due to Ivy's criminal past, she was unable to adopt a child, so she opted to create one of her own using her DNA and that of several different species of plants. It seemed that her experiment has been more than successful, and whatever it was that she had created had escaped.

'Audrey…' Ivy sighed sadly as she knelt down beside the remains of the pod. 'I wish we could have come here sooner, then I would have been here to see you emerge. You poor thing…'

Ivy straightened up when she sensed that somebody was standing right behind her.

'You don't have any right to be here.' Ivy growled, not even turning around to address her guests. 'What are you doing here, Batman?'

'Something has been attacking people in Robinson's Park over the past few days.' Batman explained. 'There hadn't been any fatalities until last night.'

'So you're saying that Audrey is behind these attacks?' Ivy surmised. 'At least you came here to tell me before you went gallivanting off.'

'I wanted to make sure that you weren't behind the attacks first of all.' Batman told his former enemy. 'I took a sample of a thorn that I found on the crime scene. It had your DNA.'

'Yes, that's because I made Audrey from a sample of my own blood.' Ivy explained. 'I've been starting to feel broody recently, but I can't adopt a child given my past crimes. I decided to create a child instead… Wait, why am I telling you all this? I should be the one out there looking for Audrey! You'd most probably end up getting her killed…'

Ivy's rant was cut short when Harley Quinn walked into the greenhouse.

'Hey Red, why so serious?' Harley asked when she noticed he partner's sombre expression. Then she noticed that Batman was there as well. 'Oh…'

'It's Audrey.' Ivy explained. 'She escaped and Batman thinks she's been attacking people in Robinson's Park.'

'Hey, didn't you use to hang out there back in the day?' Harley remembered.

'Yes, I used to lie low in Robinson's Park each time I broke out of Arkham.' Ivy nodded. 'I guess Audrey inherited my memories of the place. What I don't understand is why she's attacking people. There's plenty of places for her to hide without ever running into people, And I certainly didn't create her to attack people.'

'The sample I took from the thorn didn't just contain your DNA, Ivy.' Batman explained. 'I also found small traces of clay. The traces were minute, I only just discovered them on my way here.'

'Clayface!' Ivy realised. 'That bastard! Me must have found Audrey and is making her do his bidding. If he's harmed a single hair on her…'

'It's okay, Red.' Harley reassured her friend. 'We'll find Audrey and bring her back safe, right Batsy?'

'If Clayface is controlling Audrey, then it means she isn't responsible for her actions.' Batman told her. 'She won't have to go to prison.'

'I suppose you'll want to help us track her down.' Ivy sighed. 'But I'm telling you one thing, Clayface is mine!'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Audrey- Part 3**

_Batman joins Harley and Ivy to track down Audrey and rescue her from Clayface's clutches._


	9. Audrey: Part 3

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 9: Audrey- Part 3**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC Comics._

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* * *

_

**Gotham City-**

The Batmobile tore through the streets of Gotham City. Batman and Robin were on their way to Robinson's Park, where a plant-like creature was behind a series of attacks on passers-by. Initial suspicions had fallen on an apparently reformed Poison Ivy, but she wasn't the one responsible. The creature behind the attacks was apparently one of Ivy's genetic experiments that had escaped. Ivy had joined the Dark Knight and the Boy Wonder along with Harley Quinn to investigate the attacks.

The Batmobile pulled up outside the gates of Robinson's Park. Harley and Ivy's van pulled up behind.

'You got any idea where Clayface has got Audrey hidden, Red?' Harley asked her friend.

'I'd wager he's holed up in the old abandoned botanical gardens.' Ivy suggested 'If Audrey has inherited any genetic memories from me, she'll be here.'

'Oh yeah, the place that got closed down after you infected everybody with those mind control spores.' Harley remembered with a chuckle. 'Heh. Good times.'

'Everybody quiet.' Batman ordered his companions. 'Clayface might have set traps for any unwanted intruders.'

'Just when people say that you've gone soft.' Harley snickered, earning her a glare from the World's Greatest Detective. 'Shutting up.' She made a zipper motion across her mouth for emphasis.

* * *

**Clayface's lair-**

Matt Hagen, the shape shifting villain known as Clayface, angrily paced the floor in his lair underneath the Robinson's Park Botanical Gardens. He had sought shelter in the park after breaking out of Arkham. Whilst searching for somewhere to stay in one of Poison Ivy's old hideouts, he stumbled upon a plant-like creature that looked uncannily like an younger Ivy herself, but this creature could shoot poisonous spines from its hands. The creature would make a valuable ally. Clayface used the creature to keep unwanted visitors away from his lair.

Hagen didn't want to be bothered. He just wanted somewhere to stay until he found something more permanent. Unfortunately, the plant creature had almost ruined it when it killed an innocent walking through the park. The creature was only supposed to scare people away, not attract unwanted attention by killing random people. The police would soon be crawling all over the place. That was unless Batman got there first.

'Gah! I can't believe you were so stupid!' Clayface ranted. 'I thought I had it good. A nice cosy little hideaway. Then you had to go and screw it all up!'

Audrey, the plant creature, let out a whimper as she cowered from the angry Hagen.

'Quit whining!' Hagen yelled at Audrey as he held up a clay fist. 'Or do you want me to make you shut up?'

_**THUNK!**_

'Ahh! Sonova…' Clayface hissed as he clutched his hand to find a crossbow bolt sticking out of it.

'Don't you dare raise your hand to Audrey, you bastard!' Ivy hissed angrily, a mallet-toting Harley behind her. 'Unless you want to answer to me.'

'This ain't your secret hideaway no more, Ivy!' Clayface snapped. 'It's mine, and so is your stupid little freak of a clone!'

'Hey! You watch your mouth, Silly Putty!' Harley retorted. 'She's _our_ freak of a clone!'

'Enough!' Clayface spat. 'I'm gonna smash the both of you for trespassing on my property!'

'Somebody _really_ has to talk to you about boundary issues.' Robin quipped as he and Batman stepped out from the shadows.

'This day just gets better and better!' Clayface grimaced. 'After I smash the four of you I'm gonna take care of your clone!'

'It's over, Hagan.' Batman told the shape shifting villain. 'You're going back to Arkham where you belong.'

'Yeah, I heard some of the inmates are thinking of taking up pottery classes.' Robin joked. That earned him a glare from his mentor. 'What? I couldn't resist.'

'I'll smash you all!' Clayface hollered as he lashed out at the intruders. Robin barely dodged a mallet-shaped fist that smashed a hole through the wall behind him.

_**KRAKOOM!**_

'Better leave the fightin' to the grownups, Bird-Boy.' Harley smirked as she swung her giant mallet at Clayface, only for it to get stuck in his malleable body.

_**BLORP!**_

'Aww, nertz.' Harley grimaced. 'That was my favourite mallet. Gimmie it back, you jerk!'

'Come and get it, Quinn!' Clayface retorted, beckoning the clown woman with a giant fist.

'I ain't that stupid.' Harley shot back. 'You think I'm gonna jump in there and get eaten? You must think I'm some sorta bimbo.'

Harley pulled out her oversized pop gun and opened fire on Clayface, hitting him square in the eye.

_**BOOM!**_

'Heh. Is that all you got?' Clayface snickered, pointing at the cork in his eye. 'You gonna shoot corks at me all day?'

'Wait for it…' Harley grinned.

_**BLAMMO!**_

The oversized cork exploded, leaving a gaping hole where Clayface's right eye once was.

'You witch! That actually hurt!' Clayface growled as his face began to reform itself. 'I'm gonna grind you into mush!'

Clayface lashed out with a mace shaped fist, knocking Harley off her feet.

_**CRACK!**_

'Harley, no!' Ivy yelled. 'You'll die for that!'

'Bring it on, Red.' Clayface challenged. 'Give me all you got.'

Ivy took aim with her wrist-mounted crossbows and let fly at her enemy.

_**THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!**_

'Oh no! How ever will I survive?' Clayface taunted her. 'The nasty lady's shooting twigs at me! Please Batman, help!'

Batman simply took aim with his Bat-Tazer and let rip.

_**ZZRAAKT!!**_

'_Yaaaaghh!!_' Clayface howled as electricity coursed through his body. 'Smash you!'

Clayface lashed out again with a clay fist, sticking Batman to the wall before doing the same to Robin and the others.

'Now that I got you where I want you I can take you all apart one by one.' Clayface grinned maliciously as he loomed up on his captured prey. 'I'm gonna take my time with this.'

Unseen by Clayface, Audrey had been observing the whole fight from the corner where she had been cowering. She had noticed how her captor had been hurt by Batman's Bat-Tazer. She looked up to a junction box with some exposed cables.

Audrey snatched up the cables and jammed them into Clayface's back.

'_**YAAAAAGHH!!' **_Clayface howled as even more electricity coursed through his body.

'Audrey, no!' Ivy yelled as she struggled to get free. 'Let go!'

Audrey didn't pay her 'mother' any attention and kept the cables jammed into Clayface's back. The bad mud man made her hurt. Now it was her turn to hurt him!

_**KABOOM!**_

The electricity was too much for Clayface as he exploded, scattering chunks of clay flying everywhere. The force of the blast also threw Audrey against a nearby wall.

_**THUNK!**_

Audrey fell to the ground and a crumpled heap.

'_Audrey!' _Ivy howled as she tore her hands out of her clay prison and ran over to her 'daughter'.

Batman managed to find a mini laser in his utility belt and set about freeing himself. Once he had done so, he freed the others.

Harley ran over to her friend.

'Is she okay?' The clown lady asked in concern.

Audrey let out a soft moan and opened her eyes slowly as Ivy cradled her in her arms.

'Oh, thank God.' Ivy sighed thankfully. 'You really scared me for a minute there.'

'Mommy?' Audrey whispered hoarsely.

'Hey! Her first word!' Robin said. 'Pity it couldn't be under better circumstances.'

'We had better make a move.' Batman recommended his companions. 'It won't take long for Clayface to reform after that barrage of electricity.'

'I think he's already gone, Batman.' Robin pointed out. 'Most probably slithered down into a sewage pipe or something.'

'I'm sure Commissioner Gordon and the rest of the Gotham P.D. will be able to take care of him now.' Batman said. 'He'll still be weak after reforming.'

'I want to take Audrey home.' Ivy said. 'Unless you have a problem with that, Batman.'

'Audrey wasn't responsible for her actions.' Batman responded. 'Any crimes she committed were not of her own free will.'

'Seriously?' Harley blinked in disbelief.

Batman simply nodded in response.

'Aww, Batsy. you're the greatest!' Harley grinned as she enveloped the Dark Knight in a big hug.

'Quinn…' Batman glowered at the clown lady.

'Eep!' Harley yelped once she realised what she had done. 'Oh, jeez. I'm really sorry… I gotta go now… Bye!'

Harley made a quick getaway before she brought the wrath of the Batman upon herself any further. Ivy followed on behind her before turning back to the Dark Knight.

'Thank you, Batman.'

'Don't make me regret my decision, Ivy.' Batman responded as Ivy helped Audrey to her feet.

Ivy turned to thank Batman once more, but he had already disappeared.

'Hmm. That was just rude. I wonder how Commissioner Gordon puts up with it.'

**TBC…**

**

* * *

**

**Next: Knightfall**

_The countdown to Injustice League Unlimited continues as Talia al Ghul engineers a mass breakout of Arkham Asylum. Unfortunately for Batman, she has help. Namely a newly resurrected Bane!_


	10. Knightfall: Part 1

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 10: Knightfall- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar to DC Comics._

_

* * *

_

**Arkham Asylum-**

It was a seemingly quiet night in Arkham Asylum, Gotham City's infamous psychiatric hospital for the criminally insane. Most of the Rotten Apple's more colourful evil-doers had been inmates within its walls.

One lone helicopter hovered above the asylum. Talia al Ghul, the estranged daughter of the seemingly immortal Ra's al Ghul, motioned to one of her lackeys in the helicopter with her.

'We hit the violent wards first.' Talia instructed her minions. 'Then the main security. There's no need to cause irreparable damage. Just enough to ensure that some of the more violent inmates escape. The rest should just unfold from there.'

One of Talia's minions hefted a rocket launcher onto his shoulder and took aim at the cells where the most violent prisoners were held.

_**FWOOSH!**_

* * *

**Inside-**

Harvey Dent sat bolt upright in his bunk as the walls of his cell were shaken by a colossal explosion.

_**KRABOOM!**_

'What in the world?' The scarred former district attorney now known as Two-Face, frowned as he got up to his feet. 'Hey Crane, what's going on?'

'Your guess is as good as mine, Dent.' Jonathan Crane, the former college psychology professor now known as the Scarecrow, responded with a shrug. 'But I'm willing to bet it's a break out. I wonder who could be behind it all?'

'Aww, who cares. Let's get out of here!' Two-Face said as the door to his cell swung open. His mysterious benefactors had obviously taken out the mechanisms that kept the inmate's cell doors locked.

'_**BREAK OUT!!' **_The inmates hollered as they surged towards the nearest guard station. The guards had weapons, and the inmates needed to be armed if they were successful in their break out.

* * *

**Outside-**

Back onboard the helicopter, several more of Talia Al Ghul's minions were struggling to push a crate out of the helicopter.

'Hurry with those munitions.' Talia told her lackeys. 'It's only a matter of time until the whole asylum is swarming with armoured response units. The inmates will need armaments, and quickly.'

The minions managed to shove the crate of munitions out of the helicopter just as the sea of inmates charged out into the asylum's grounds.

'Awright! We finally got some toys to play with!' Killer Croc grinned as he tore the crate apart, spilling its contents out onto the ground. 'Let's have some fun!'

The reptilian-skinned villain grabbed a handful of cartridges and set off to go enjoy himself. The rest of the asylum's inmates followed suit and armed themselves in preparation for the festivities.

Sure enough, it didn't take Gotham's finest very long to show up.

'Squeal little piggies!' Killer Croc laughed as he opened fire on the police officers.

_**BRATTATTATTA!**_

'Yeah! This is more like it!' Croc crowed as one of the squad cars exploded in a ball of flame.

_**BRAKOOM!**_

'At last I am free!' Maxie Zeus whooped in triumph as he grabbed handfuls of guns. 'Ha! Those fools thought they could imprison a god? I am Maxie Zeus!'

The Greek-themed villain looked up as a bat-shaped shadow appeared, silhouetted against the moon.

'Let you be the first one to be smote by my might, Batman!' Maxie Zeus pontificated as he struggled to load his weapon. 'If I can just… Accursed contraption!'

Batman leapt out of the Bat-Plane, swooping down into the asylum's yard, right on top of Maxie Zeus.

_**CRUNCH!**_

'No toys for you, Maxie.' Batman said to the unconscious villain as he turned to the rest of the fleeing inmates.

'Die, Batman!' Two-Face yelled as he let rip with twin shotguns.

_**BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!**_

The Dark Knight easily avoided the gunfire and tossed a pair of Batarangs back at Two-Face, making the villain drop his weapons.

'Argh! Damn you, Batman!' Two-Face howled as he charged at the Dark Knight brandishing a knife.

_**POW!**_

Batman took down Two-Face with a well-faced punch to the chin. There was no need for finesse. He had to stop the riot right away. There was no telling what sort of chaos Arkham's inmates would cause if they all escaped into the city.

Up above the Dark Knight's head, Talia Al Ghul was watching the unfolding events with interest. She motioned to her companion sitting in the helicopter opposite her.

'I believe it's your turn, my friend.' Talia smiled. 'You know what you have to do.'

The heavily-muscled man dressed in a black-and-white wrestler's outfit leapt out of the helicopter to land behind Batman.

_**BADOOM!**_

'Surprised to see me, Batman?' Bane grinned underneath his mask.

'It seems the stories of your demise are greatly exaggerated, Bane.' **(1) **Batman responded. 'A dip in the Lazarus Pit, I take it.'

'Yes, marvellous things.' Bane nodded. 'Enough prattling. On with the fight, yes?'

Batman barely had enough time to evade as Bane swung his colossal fists, narrowly missing the Dark Knight.

Batman swung out a leg in an attempt to sweep Bane's feet from underneath him. Unfortunately, Bane barely moved an inch. It was almost as if Batman was kicking a brick wall.

'It will take much more than a leg sweep to make me fall, Batman.' Bane chuckled. 'Another benefit of a dip in a Lazarus Pit. It seems that I am even stronger than ever.'

Batman swung a punch at Bane, only for the giant enforcer to grab his fist.

'Too slow, Batman.' Bane tutted as he squeezed the Dark Knight's fist. 'Growing a little slow in your age, perhaps?'

Batman simply slammed his free hand against Bane's head.

_**CRACK!**_

'Argh! A lucky shot!' Bane howled as he dropped Batman's hand. 'You will not get another!'

Bane grabbed Batman by the throat and threw him against the wall.

_**CRUNCH!**_

'I was hoping that this battle would be worthy of my attentions.' Bane sighed as he booted Batman in the kidneys. 'Disappointing.'

'Not finished…' Batman coughed as he reached up to clutch at Bane's leg.

'Please Batman, you are already beaten.' Bane scoffed as he swatted Batman away. 'You cannot possibly hope to win.'

Bane grabbed the weakened Batman by the scruff of the neck an motioned for the helicopter to come and pick him up again. The gargantuan enforcer held on to the side of the helicopter as it took off again.

'You really should have joined with Talia al Ghul, Batman.' Bane told his quarry as the helicopter headed towards the throng of police officers. 'You know how the saying goes, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…'

With that Bane let go of Batman's neck,. Sending him tumbling back down to earth to land upon the hood of one of the waiting squad cars.

_**CRUNCH!**_

'_Batman?!_' Renee Montoya gasped in shock as she ran over to check up on the Dark Knight. Her face paled once she realised how much damage he had just suffered. She turned to Comissioner Gordon, her face ashen. 'Commissioner, he's not breathing…'

**TBC…**

**

* * *

**

**Next: Knightfall- Part 2**

_Surely this can't be the end for the Dark Knight… can it? Tune in next time to find out!_

* * *

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_Bane was killed by Power Girl in _'Uncanny Suicide Squad'.


	11. Knightfall: Part 2

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 11: Knightfall- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC Comics._

* * *

**Arkham Asylum-**

Commissioner Gordon and the rest of the gathered police officers stood aghast. The muscle-bound villain known as Bane had just given Batman a savage beating and tossed him out of a helicopter. The beaten Dark Knight was laying atop the roof of a patrol car that he had landed upon.

'Holy hell, nobody coulda survived a beating like that.' Detective Bullock shook his head. 'That Bat's done for.'

'Shut up, Bullock!' Detective Montoya retorted angrily as she went to check on the fallen Dark Knight. 'We can't just leave him there, we have to help him.'

Fortunately, it didn't take an ambulance very long to turn up.

'You guys sure got here fast.' Gordon said to the paramedic first out of the ambulance.

'We were in the neighbourhood.' The paramedic responded. 'we were about the breakout and headed straight over. Looks like we got here just in time.'

A second paramedic climbed out of the ambulance and helped get batman onto a stretcher.

'Master Bruce, are you still conscious?' The first paramedic whispered as he leant over Batman.

'Alfred…?' The Dark Knight groaned weakly.

'Try not to speak, sir. Master Richard and I are here to help.' Batman's loyal butler responded as he and an incognito Dick Grayson loaded him into the back of the ambulance.

'Do you want me to ride along?' Montoya asked. 'You might need a police escort.'

'That's quite alright, ma'am.' Paramedic Grayson responded. 'We can handle ourselves well enough. We've done this plenty of times before.'

Montoya stood back and watched the paramedics drive away with batman in the back of the ambulance.

'Montoya, did those paramedics say where they were taking Batman?' Commissioner Gordon asked.

'Dammit.' Montoya cursed herself. 'I didn't even think to ask. I just hope we didn't hand Batman to one of his enemies waiting to finish the job.'

'Let's hope that it was some of his own people.' Gordon sighed heavily.

Inside the ambulance, as it headed back to the Batcave, Alfred busied himself with trying to save Batman.

'We have to get him to a hospital, Alfred.' Dick said from the driver's seat. 'There's no telling what sort of damage that Bane guy did to him.'

'We will do the best we can, Master Richard.' Alfred responded. 'I have repaired his broken body many times before.'

'Even so, don't you think we should call in an expert?' Dick asked. 'I'm going to put in a call to Doctor Thompkins.'

'Very well, Master Richard.' Alfred nodded in understanding. 'If you think that is best.'

* * *

**The Batcave, later-**

Doctor Leslie Thompkins removed her gloves and pulled down her surgeon's mask with a heavy sigh.

'Well, I've done the best I could.' Doctor Thompkins stated. 'Bruce should really be in a proper hospital.'

'You know that we cannot risk people discovering Batman's true identity.' Alfred explained. 'I felt it best that he be brought back to the Batcave.'

'All we can do now is sit back and wait for Bruce to heal himself.' Doctor Thompkins said. 'Where's Diana? Surely she would want to be at Bruce's side.'

'She headed off in search of Bane as soon as she found out what happened.' Dick explained. Doctor Thompkins let in a sharp intake of breath.

'If that's the case, then may God have mercy on him…'

* * *

**Gotham Plaza Hotel, meanwhile-**

Bane sat patiently in a chair in the penthouse apartment of the Gotham Plaza Hotel with his employer, Talia al Ghul. They were awaiting further instructions.

'It is a pity that I could not be there to see paramedics state Batman dead.' Bane told his employer.

'There is no honour in gaining glee from an enemy's defeat.' Talia sighed. 'Stop gloating, Bane.'

'Mistress…' One of Talia's bodyguards piped up. Talia turned to regard her minion.

'What is it…? Oh.' Talia's face fell once she saw the figure heading towards them. 'Perhaps now would be a good time to make an exit…'

_**CRASH!**_

Wonder Woman crashed straight through the window into the room. Needless to say, she wasn't best pleased. Talia's bodyguards leapt in to defend their mistress.

_**CRACK!**_

Wonder Woman easily tossed the guards to one side with a swipe of her hand.

'Here to wreak some vengeance, I see.' Talia stated. 'I knew it was only a moment of time. Bane, deal with this will you?'

'My pleasure.' Bane nodded as he advanced upon Wonder Woman. 'I will take no pleasure out of fighting you, Wonder Woman. I am only obeying orders.'

Bane swung a punch at Wonder Woman, only for the Amazing Amazon to catch his fist.

'What are you doing?'

'I'm taking you for a flight.' Wonder Woman responded as she took to the air with the captured bane in her clutches.

'Let go of me, woman!' Bane hissed as he yanked his arm out of his captive's grip, sending him plummeting to the ground. The muscular villain impact left a huge crater in the sidewalk below. The villain climbed out of the crater and dusted himself off.

_**BOOM!**_

Wonder Woman landed upon him with a huge punch to the head. Unfortunately, Bane easily shrugged off the blow.

'Is that the best you have, woman?' Bane laughed in derision. 'I thought you Amazons were supposed to be fierce warriors.'

'I am only beginning to get warmed up.' Wonder Woman retorted as she threw her own punch at Bane.

_**POW!**_

The blow sent Bane crashing through a nearby brick wall.

'Hmm, first blood to you.' Bane said, wiping blood from his chin. 'Pity your victory will be short-lived.' the villain picked up a parked car and tossed it at Wonder Woman.

Fortunately, the Amazing Amazon easily rolled out of the way. Then she took out her golden lasso and tossed it at Bane, grabbing the villain's leg. With a swift tug she pulled the muscular evildoer off his feet.

'Prepare to feel Amazon justice, villain!' Wonder Woman said as she spun her lasso around before letting go, sending bane crashing into a parked gas tanker.

_**BADOOM!**_

The tanker exploded in a gigantic ball of flame. Wonder Woman made a heavy sigh of relief. Finally, her opponent was finished.

'_**Aaaaugh!**_' Bane howled as he burst out of the remains of the wrecked truck. 'I will crush you, woman…' The muscle-bound enforcer let out a weak groan before falling flat on his face, unconscious at long last.

'Thank Hera for that.' Wonder Woman sighed in thanks. She then put in a call to the Batcave. 'Alfred, how is Bruce?'

'I take it you caught up with that Bane creature.' Alfred responded from the other end of the communicator.

'The villains is finally vanquished.' Wonder Woman confirmed. 'Now, how about Bruce?'

'Perhaps you would wish to return to the Cave, Miss Diana.' Alfred said. 'Master Bruce has just regained consciousness.'

* * *

**Back at the Batcave-**

Once Bane had been taken away by the authorities, Wonder Woman returned to the Batcave. There would have been no use to go back and search for Talia, she would have made an escape the minute Wonder Woman left with Bane.

'It sounds like I missed out on a lot of action while I was out.' A bandaged and bruised Bruce Wayne stated. 'When do you think I will be able to return to patrolling, Doctor Thompkins?'

'You won't be returning to anything for some time, Bruce.' Leslie told him sternly. 'You're lucky to be alive.'

'Crime won't sleep just because I gained a few bumps and bruises.' Bruce said.

'Bruce, you almost died!' Diana told him. 'You are not fit to return to being Batman.'

'Then what do you suggest I do?' Bruce asked. 'Just sit in my bed until I'm deemed strong enough?'

'Doctor, do you think Bruce will be able to manage a break?' Diana enquired, regarding the doctor. 'Perhaps a holiday?'

'Oh, you'd better believe it.' Leslie nodded. 'Listen to your doctor, Bruce. Take a holiday. Doctor's orders.'

Bruce went to open his mouth, but Dick cut him off. 'Bruce, it's not as if you're going to leave Gotham totally undefended if you take a break away. I'm sure Barbara will be happy to take the slack.'

'Fine.' Bruce frowned. 'I'll take a holiday.'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Batgirl Returns**

_With Batman away, Barbara Gordon decides that it's time that a new Batgirl hit the streets, but who will the new Batgirl be?_


	12. Batgirl Returns

**Uncanny Batman**

**Chapter 12: Batgirl Returns**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

* * *

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC Comics._

* * *

**Gotham City-**

A motorbike tore through the streets of Gotham City. Its driver was Tim Drake, better known as Robin, the Boy Wonder. His passenger, was Stephanie Brown, also known as the young hero Spoiler.

'Any chance you're going to tell me where we're going?' Spoiler asked as she held on tight to her partner's waist.

'I can't tell you.' Robin responded. 'If I did tell you, they'd kill me.'

'They?' Spoiler continued with her line of questioning. 'Who the heck do you mean _they?_'

'Just be patient, and you'll find out everything soon enough.' Robin replied. 'We're almost there.'

'We'd better be.' Spoiler said. 'You know how I hate it when you keep stuff secret. Remember how long it took you to tell me your real name? I bet you already knew my secret identity as well.'

'Of course I did.' Robin smiled cheekily. 'I couldn't have been taught by the Dark Knight and not know people's secrets.'

'Y'know, that's kind of freaky.' Spoiler stated. 'You're not keeping files on everybody so you know how to stop them if they turn bad, are you?' Robin just laughed at the thought.

'Heh. As if I'd do something like that.'

The pair stopped outside a seemingly abandoned clock tower. Spoiler looked up at the building. This surely couldn't be their destination, could it?

'This is where we were headed?' Spoiler asked. 'An old abandoned clock tower? Oh God, you going to bump me off because I know all your secrets, aren't you?'

Robin pressed a button on his motorbike and the door to a secret parking garage opened up. The pair drove inside and parked up. Spoiler still couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right.

'Tim, you're starting to freak me out now.' The purple-clad heroine said. 'Secret parking garages full of shadows. I'm gonna end up getting my memory wiped, aren't I?'

Robin simply smiled in response and headed over to an elevator. He beckoned for Spoiler to follow him. She stepped inside the elevator and the headed upwards.

'You have to promise not to tell anybody anything that you saw here.' Robin told his friend.

'Otherwise you're going to wipe my memory, right?' Spoiler asked.

'Enough with the memory wipes.' Robin rolled his eyes. 'Nothing like that's going to happen. You can trust us, as long as we can trust you to keep everything a secret.'

'Uh… sure.' Spoiler agreed. 'But who's this '_We'_ you keep talking about?'

The door to the elevator opened up to reveal a hi-tech computer station beyond.

'Holy cow!' Spoiler let out an impressed whistle. 'You've got a whole spy station set up here! No wonder you wanted me to keep it secret. Wait… are you snooping on the government? Does Batman know?'

'We use the computers to keep tabs on goings on all over the world.' A voice responded from the chair in front of the computer monitors. 'Not just the bad guys, but anybody that needs our help.'

Spoiler smacked herself on the head. How could she have been so dense?

'God! Why didn't I figure this out sooner?' The young heroine said. 'This is Oracle's headquarters, right? You must be Oracle.' The person sitting in the chair turned around to reveal herself to be a bespectacled redhead. It was Barbara Gordon, the former Batgirl who now called herself Oracle.

'Pleasure to meet you, Stephanie.' Barbara smiled as she stood up to greet the new arrival. 'I'm sorry we had to keep everything secret from you, but you can understand why we can't have just anybody knowing about our set up here.'

'Nobody would expect a great big computer lab in an old abandoned clock tower.' Spoiler said. 'Ooh! You want me to come work for you, right? I heard rumours that there was a new team starting in Gotham.'

'You catch on quick.' Barbara smiled. 'I want you to join my team, but on one condition…'

Spoiler's face fell at the news. She didn't like the idea of that.

Barbara picked up a large box from the counter beside her. 'This is for you, Stephanie.' the redheaded computer expert said. Spoiler took the box and opened it up. Inside was a brand new uniform with an all-too familiar bat-shaped symbol on the chest.

'Is this what I think this is?' Spoiler asked.

'Its sure is.' Barbara smiled. 'Stephanie, I want you to be the new Batgirl.'

'You don't think Batman will mind, do you?' Spoiler asked. 'I mean, won't he be pissed that you went ahead and made somebody Batgirl without his permission?'

'Whose idea do you think it was?' Robin grinned. 'Batman thinks you're good and wants you to be an official part of the Bat-Family.'

Spoiler could barely contain her excitement.

'This is so awesome!' The purple-clad heroine squealed in excitement. 'I'm gonna get changed right away!'

* * *

**A little while later-**

Stephanie had changed out of her old Spoiler uniform and had put on her new Batgirl uniform. She walked out to show the others how she looked.

'Well, what do you think?' The new Batgirl asked as she gave her friends a twirl. 'Does it suit me? It isn't too tight?'

'Oh, I don't know…' Robin responded as he looked his friend up and down. 'Just give me a little more time to think it over.'

'Pig.' Stephanie tutted as he jokingly punched the Boy Wonder on the arm. She then turned to regard Barbara. 'So, what happens now? Do I hit the streets and start beating up the bad guys?'

Barbara didn't have time to answer as a young woman appeared in the room in a puff of smoke.

'I'm back, B!' The young heroine known as Misfit announced. 'Those bad guys thought they were so tough, but I showed them with a dose of _darrrrk vengeance!_' Then she noticed that she and Barbara weren't the only ones present. She looked the new Batgirl up and down. 'What the heck is this?'

'Now Charlie, don't get angry…' Barbara tried to calm the younger heroine.

'Don't get angry?' Misfit yelled. 'I thought I was gonna be the new Batgirl, not this bimbo!'

'Hey now…' Stephanie said as she tried to talk to the new arrival, but the redheaded heroine turned on her with a nasty glare.

'Get away from me, you tramp!' Misfit said as she pushed the other heroine away. 'You know what, forget all of you. I'm outta here!' With that, Misfit teleported herself away. Barbara held her head in her hands and let out a long sigh.

'I should have known something like this would happen.' Barbara groaned. Stephanie put a comforting hand on the older woman's shoulder.

'Let me talk to her.' Stephanie offered. 'This is kind of my fault as well.'

* * *

**The streets of Gotham-**

Misfit teleported herself to a rooftop elsewhere in the city. She didn't care where she went, just as long as it wasn't in the clock tower.

'Who does that cow think she is?' Misfit uttered to herself as she slumped against an air-conditioning unit. 'I should be the new Batgirl! Why to heck does Barbra think I joined her?'

'You're being a little hard on Oracle, don't you think?'

Misfit jumped up at the sound of the voice. It was Batgirl.

'Oh, it's you.' Misfit groaned. 'You come to gloat?'

'I just came to talk to you.' Batgirl told the other heroine. 'Look, I didn't even know that Oracle was training somebody else. If I knew I wouldn't have even taken the cowl. Besides, you don't want to follow in somebody else's footsteps. You're doing pretty well as Misfit.'

'Well, being Misfit is pretty awesome.' Misfit admitted.

'Don't you think that it's better to have your own superhero identity than to live in somebody else's shadow?' Batgirl asked.

Misfit was about to reply when Oracle's voice called in through their ear mounted communicators.

'Girls, I'm sorry to interrupt the bonding session, but there's a drugs deal going on near your position.' Oracle explained. 'Black Mask is meeting with some Russians in a warehouse opposite you.'

'Oh, man. Not him again.' Batgirl sighed.

'You know that loser?' Misfit asked.

'Yeah, I kicked his butt when I teamed up with the Titans.' **(1) **Batgirl explained.

'You met the Titans?' Misfit continued. 'Cool! _I'm_ one of the Titans!'

'Then how about we have a team-up right now?' Batgirl asked.

'You got it, partner.' Misfit grinned as she teleported away. Batgirl shot out a grappling hook and swung across to the warehouse opposite.

* * *

**Inside the warehouse-**

'This stuff had better be genuine.' Black Mask said as he looked inside the suitcase of merchandise. 'I don't care if it's good quality or whatever, but I don't want people dyin' too quickly. It's kinda bad for business.'

'You are sure that the Batman does not know that we are here?' The lead Russian fellow asked.

'Nah, the Bat's outta town.' Black Mask replied. 'He ain't got no idea what's goin' on.'

'_**Darrrrk vengeance!**_'

The lead Russian was knocked out by a flying kick from Misfit. The rest of the Russians went for their guns.

'It is a trap!' One of them yelled. 'The deal is off, Black Mask!'

'You made a bad mistake screwin' up this deal for me!' Black Mask yelled as he went for his own gun. His face fell once he noticed a bat-shaped shadow on the floor around him. He looked up to see the dark shape of a bat silhouetted against the moon. 'Aww, crap!'

Batgirl crashed through the skylight and landed right on top of Black Mask.

'Great way to make an entrance, no?' Batgirl grinned as she leapt off of the stunned Black Mask and tossed him over her shoulder.

'This is awesome!' Misfit grinned as she swept one of the Russians' feet from under him. 'My first proper team-up!'

'Die, you tramp!' One of Black mask's goons yelled as he went for Batgirl with a knife.

'Now, that isn't very nice is it?' Batgirl tutted as she kicked the knife out of the goon's hand. 'You could have somebody's eye out with that thing.' Batgirl picked up a chair and smashed it over the goon's head, knocking him out.

'Those Russian guys're getting away!' Misfit announced as she noticed Black Mask's former business partners making their getaway. 'I've got 'em!' The young woman teleported away to appear right in front of the two remaining Russians. 'Taste my fists of justice!' Misfit punched the two Russians in the face, knocking them out as well.

'Well, that was a good night's work.' Batgirl smiled as she dusted off her hands. 'The bad guys are beat and we had our first team-up. You know what else cements a good friendship? Ice-cream!'

'Couldn't have said it better myself, Blondie.' Misfit grinned. 'Aww yeah, ice-cream!'

* * *

**A motel elsewhere in the city-**

While Batgirl and Misfit celebrated their new friendship with icy treats, Jonathan Crane was tinkering with some new gadgets. He was working on a new device that would administer his fear gas when he squeezed it. He was interrupted by his experiments by a knock on the door.

'Go away.' Crane said, not even looking up from his experiments. 'I told the manager I didn't want to be disturbed.

'Aww, you're supposed to ask who's there.' The voice from the other side of the door responded.

'Fine.' Crane sighed in exasperation. 'Who's there?'

'Joe.' The stranger answered. Crane could barely believe that he was getting involved in this rubbish.

'Joe who?' Crane asked. The door was kicked inwards as a grinning pale man made his way inside.

'Joe Kerr!' The Clown Prince of Crime laughed as he made his entrance. 'Hey, why the long face, Scare-Chum? Why so serious?'

'Go away, Joker.' Crane glowered at his unwanted guest. 'I have important work to do.'

'Hey, you know the saying, two heads are better than one.' The Joker said as he put his arm around Crane's shoulders 'What do you say to a good old-fashioned team-up?'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Masters of Fear**

_The Joker and Scarecrow begin their campaign of fear through Gotham City. Their first task: Kidnapping the mayor!_

* * *

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_Spoiler teamed up with the Titans to take on Black Mask in Chapters 11 and 12 of '_The Uncanny Titans'.


End file.
